Secret Social Weaponsx

How To Overcome Low Self Esteem By Combating Negative Thought Patterns

2009-10-20T20:55:00.004+01:00

Negative thinking can have a great effect on your life. It can hold you back in so many ways. It can end up making your life miserable. Your can get into the habit of thinking negatively. If you think negative thoughts and you accept them as being true, you will feel miserable, sad and anxious. You will not be able to be the person you want and deserve to be.

Your sub-conscious mind is responsible for your emotions. It effectively runs your whole body. You could think of your sub-conscious mind as your engine room. It keeps your heart beating and your blood pumping. It also instructs your conscious mind to think. Anything that is accepted into your sub conscious will reflect in your physiology. Your physiology refers to the way that you feel and act. Your sub-conscious mind cannot reject any thoughts. All the thoughts you have – both positive and negative, will be sent to your body. As a result both your conscious mind and body will react as your sub-conscious mind believes it must. For example, if you tell yourself, “I do not feel confident” – guess what, that is exactly how you are going to feel!

Most people believe these negative thought patterns are true, regardless of how untrue they are in reality. Negative thoughts are likely to focus on the worst case scenario in every situation. People tend to reinforce these negative thoughts over and over again. These messages will only help you to feel badly about yourself and halt your level of self worth.

What you believe to be true and accept into your sub-conscious has a direct impact on every area of your life. You must learn to control your thoughts. If you fail to do this, you will be up and down like a yo-yo. Negative thoughts only serve to drain your energy and motivation. However, learning to reject negative thoughts can be tough.

Here are two practical exercises that you can try if you feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts.

Exercise One

1 – Find a peaceful place. Stop and sit down.
2 – Relax and shut your eyes. Take slow deep breaths.
3 – Think about three things that make you happy, passionate and excited.
4 – After ten minutes, open your eyes, stretch out your arms and stand up.
5 – As you go about your day, focus on the positive images that came into your mind.

Exercise Two

1. Get a large piece of paper and a pen.
2. Divide the piece of paper into two columns.
3. Put the heading ‘negative thoughts’ into the first column.
4. Put the heading ‘positive thoughts’ into the second column.
5. Write all your negative thoughts down. Read them back to yourself.
6. Write a positive thought that contradicts the negative thought.

It takes approximately thirty days to develop a habit. Make a habit of only accepting positive thoughts into your subconscious mind. Remember, your subconscious mind has control over both your body and your mind.

In order to change, we must first learn to take responsibility for our actions. It will take time to learn how to develop a higher level of self – esteem and confidence. There is nothing sad about wanting to be the best you can be. Whatever you do, don’t give up. You a special and unique person who deserves to think and feel good about yourself.

For a no cost video program showing you step-by-step how to overcome negative thought patterns please click here.

How To Increase Low Self Esteem The Easy Way

2009-10-20T20:02:00.002+01:00

I have written a short ebook on how by destroying negative thought patterns you can help to boost your self esteem.

You can click here to download it for free.

I hope it helps :-)

Two Key Strategies For Improving Self Confidence

2009-10-13T10:45:00.003+01:00

Our level of self confidence has a direct impact on many areas of our lives. Self confident individuals tend to find it easier to become successful emotionally, financially and socially. Everybody is capable of improving their level of self confidence. First, you have to make a decision. Are you prepared to work hard and really focus on improving your self confidence and self esteem?Think about what you want to achieve in life? How will improving your self confidence help you to achieve your objectives?

Here are two simple strategies that you can use to improve you self confidence - starting today.

Strategy One - Be positive about life.

· It is vital to train yourself to appear positive on the outside, even if you do not feel positive on the inside. By behaving in a self confident manner, you are more likely to feel more self confident on the inside.

· Nobody likes other people talking about them in a negative way. Why then, would you choose to say nasty things about yourself? Think how you would like to be treated by others. Now, apply that to the way you treat yourself.

· Avoid people who either pity you or treat you badly. This will only result in you maintaining a low level of self esteem.

· Never let a person lead you to believe you are in some way inferior. You have strengths and talents that deserve to be credited. If somebody cannot treat you with respect, they are quite frankly not worth your time.

· It is vital to start thinking about the way you talk both to yourself and about yourself. Start to believe and talk to yourself in a positive way. Always talk about what you are doing in life, your future, your family and social life in a positive fashion.

Strategy Two - Focus on your strengths and your achievements.

· We are all human at the end of the day. Nobody is perfect. Nobody gets things right all the time. Don't be afraid to make mistakes or ask for help if you need it. Avoid trying to be a perfectionist at all costs. It is not healthy and you will only succeed in failing to achieve your goals. All you can ask from yourself is to try your best. That is all anyone can do.

· Everybody is good at something. People tend to be good at things that they enjoy doing. What are your hobbies and interests? What are you passionate about? What new activities would you like to try but have never done before? Is there something that you would like to learn more about? Try to set aside just a couple of hours a week to do something you enjoy. This will help you to gain confidence by meeting like-minded people.

· Learn to take a compliment. Smile and say thank you. You deserve to be given fair praise for your achievements. Start to pay compliments to other people.

· Finally, I want you to grab some paper and a pen. Think about all the things you have done up to now. Divide the paper up into two columns. In the first column, write a list of twenty things that you are proud of doing in your life. In the second column, I want you to list your ten greatest strengths. You can ask your family and friends for their input on this.

· Congratulations, you are already a winner. Keep this list in a safe place. Whatever you feel down, look at the list and smile your achievements :-)

How To Build Self Confidence Without Weight Loss

2009-10-12T13:28:00.000+01:00

Many of us are overweight. You are not alone. Maybe you have a little bit of puppy fat or are physically obese. Both your body and mind are affected whatever shape you are.

In this article, I am going to walk you through a simple technique. It can be used to make you feel much more attractive and self confident as a person. Use this technique to develop the right mental toughness and attitude. It will also help you to get into great shape.

Losing weight is something that should be done from a health point of view. However, often people want to lose weight because it will help their self esteem and confidence. The thing that most people don’t understand is that your self esteem comes from what you think about yourself. Self esteem and confidence should not come from what others think about you.

In every day life, we are greeted with pictures of stick thin models and glamorous actresses. This can make us feel inadequate and unattractive. We often find ourselves delighted when we see pictures of stars without make up and think “wow, she looks bad without her slap on just like I do!”

Step One - I want you to go and stand in front of a mirror. What you are going to do is reprogram your mind to associate your reflection with positive feelings. Very soon you will be able to stand in front of the mirror and feel great rather than feeling down about your appearance.

Step Two - I want you to think back to a time when you felt really good about yourself. It does not have to be about the way you look. It might have been a job you did well or a complement you received. Use anything which gives you that self satisfying glow in your stomach. Close your eyes and think of that moment. Really remember just how proud of yourself you felt. Remember that inner confidence. If it a compliment someone paid you remember their sincerity. Feel that glow and move it up from your stomach to your eyes. Feel the glow behind your closed eyes and smile to yourself. Really remember that moment in your mind.

Step Three - When you start to feel as strongly as possible open your eyes. See yourself as other people would have seen you at that time. See yourself with respect and admiration. Keep smiling at yourself and notice the confidence in your eyes.

Step Four - When you really feel great, squeeze together your thumb and forefinger. This will create an emotional connection between the way you feel at that moment and your reflection.

I want you to practice this every day for a month. Every single day. It takes a matter of minutes and does not cost you a penny. Over a period of time you will start to notice a dramatic change in yourself. You will notice that you have more confidence when you look in the mirror. Your self esteem will grow and very quickly you’ll not worry about your weight as much as you have done before.

It is very important you understand that this technique is not to replace your diet program. This is merely a way for you to start to feel better about yourself. As I have said, often people want to desperately lose weight because it will make them feel more confident. By using this technique you can become more confident in the way you look within one month. Couple this with a diet program that works and your results will be both visible and internal resulting in a new, improved you.

Feeling down and depressed about yourself can result in comfort eating. This, of course, can only end up with you putting on more weight and the vicious circle continues.

Use this technique to develop the right mental toughness and attitude. Use your healthy and sensible diet to get into great shape.

For more information on how to break negative thought patterns, please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

How To Rid Yourself Of Negative Diet Habits In Five Easy Steps!

2009-10-12T13:24:00.000+01:00

The power of the human mind has been well known to successful people from the beginning of time. Experts of the sub conscious mind, such as hypnotists, have come up with ingenious ways that bypass the conscious mind and speak directly to the sub conscious. Often hypnosis is used to help people achieve their weight loss goals. In this article, I will show you how to do that without any fancy hypnotist or high fees.

The sub conscious mind is the most powerful force in any human being. When you first learned to drive you had to think about every single thing to keep that car driving in the way you wanted to. Gears, mirrors, indicators and steering were constantly thought about. After a while driving becomes a habit. You repeat them so many times that your conscious mind no longer has to think about them. Your sub conscious runs you on auto pilot to carry out the manoeuvres.

So what does this have to do with weight loss? Well by using a concept called “auto suggestion” you can help your sub conscious mind “reprogram” yourself to stick to diets, eat healthier foods, enjoy working out and much, much more.

The reason so many people fail to lose weight is because they program themselves for failure each and every time they try a new diet. Due of bad experiences in the past with shoddy diet programs, they often tell themselves, “This won’t work for me” and give up a few weeks in. Think about whenever you have tried to diet in the past. How long did you stick at? Probably not long enough if you’re honest with yourself.

The technique I am to teach you now will enable you to rid yourself of these negative thought patterns that you are constantly bombarding your sub conscious mind with. You will be retraining yourself to be more positive about your weight loss. In turn you will develop a thick skin that won’t give up whenever a diet does not show instant and massive results.

Your emotions and thoughts are like signals. Whenever you feel bad about weight loss or dieting and have thoughts such as “I’m always going to be overweight” stop what you’re doing and follow these steps.

Step One. Think about what it is that makes you feel you’ll always be overweight. You’ll get an image come into your mind. Maybe it’s of you feeling down about a diet or you in the future and you haven’t lost any weight.

Step Two. Pay attention to this image. This is your unconscious telling you what thought is holding you back in your quest for dieting. This is the image that you consistently put into your sub conscious. You have programmed yourself to think this way and that’s why it is so easy to give up on diets when things get a little tough.

Step Three. Drain the entire colour out of the image. Shrink it and move it into the distance. If it happens to reappear repeat the process. Drain it, shrink it, and put it into the distance.

Step Four. Replace the image with an image of what you really want to be like. Fit, healthy and at your perfect weight. Get emotionally involved with the image. Think of how great it would feel to have lost all the weight you want to. Make it full colour and bring it closer to you.

Step Five. Hold your thumb and middle fingers together when you feel that rush of excitement about the new future you.

This may all sound a little crazy. However, this very cool technique for programming your sub conscious mind. Do this every time you feel a down about weight loss or have any negative thoughts. Before long it will become a habit.

Eventually, you will have created “a mind anchor”. When you press your thumb and middle fingers together, you will get the rush of excitement about your new, slim self. Any time you feel negative about weight loss you put your fingers together and your sub conscious will recognise this habit and use it to your advantage.

Ok. I do understand that this may seem a little “out there”. However, this is based on the science of Neuro Linguistic Programming. This is not some pie in the sky idea thought up by a lunatic. It is based on the science of the mind and it works in reprogramming yourself. Give it a go and stick at it!

For more information on how to break negative thought patterns and to get a free video on the subject then visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

How to overcome shyness in the modern world

2009-10-12T13:21:00.000+01:00

Everybody has heard the phrase ‘to stand out from the crowd’. It helps to ‘stand out’ if you are trying to get that job or impress some one on a date. Have you have ever found yourself overlooked for opportunities? Have other less experienced or less qualified people manage to push in front of you? The chances are you were just not getting yourself noticed enough. Why ? Perhaps, you have been too timid or shy about it.

Some people say shyness is the natural enemy of confidence and with good reason. A little shyness in the form of modesty is an attractive attribute to a lot people. What we are discussing here is the type of shyness that prevents you from speaking clearly to people. This sort of shyness prohibits you from being confident around people you don’t know. Shyness can prevent you from achieving your full potential.

Many shy people believe they are ‘the way they are’ due to genetic or other biological reasons. Let me assure you of this fact. There is not a single shy person who cannot shed their inhibitions. Human beings we have the ability to make themselves what they want to be. It is important is to have the will to change. The first step is to stop labelling yourself as a naturally shy person.

Labelling is one of the main ways we affirm an identity to ourselves. This can be expressed both internally (our thoughts and emotions) and externally (the clothes we wear). The more we affirm something, the more we take it to be unshakable true. We fall in to the trap of acting in a certain way simply by falling into the trap of thinking we are that way inclined. The power of the mind can be a double edged sword.

So if we can affirm a shy identity, it follows naturally that we can also create a extroverted persona. Appreciate yourself as a fluid being not something set in stone. Avoid directly thinking about your shyness as an individual. Try to think about the situations in life where you desire a high level of self confidence. This could be a dinner party or even a visit to the supermarket. Start to imagine how you would like to be perceived by others and yourself.

One of the most common whys people attempt to overcome shyness is through alcohol. If you enjoy a drink you will know that one of the most enjoyable (and occasionally embarrassing) aspects of a drink is that you lose previously held inhibitions. You might find yourself saying or doing things that you would not consider doing in a million years. Many shy people turn to drink as away to conquer their inhibitions.

The problem is that this can lead to a dependency on drink. This of course becomes unsustainable in day to day living. You cannot go for a job interview after a few whiskeys. This type of reliance can lead to people making excuses for their shyness.

You transformation from a shy introvert to an outgoing extrovert needs to be as organic as possible. Alcohol is used by so many shy people because it makes strangers seem less frightening. Drinking tends to embolden people. There is the key point here. In order to learn to meeting new people you must start to look at other people differently.

One of the simplest ways to start doing this is through imagination. You should try and think about how other people deserve the same blank slate treatment. Try to approach other people with an open mind. After all, what have you got to lose?

For more information on how to overcome shyness, please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

Why You Need To Develop The Habit Of Positive Thinking Today!

2009-10-12T13:17:00.000+01:00

A positive frame of mind is important for so many reasons. Positive thinking is proven to enhance performance in productivity and quality. We tend to think more creatively and perform better when we are feeling positive and well. When you are on top form, your confidence levels will go through the roof and this can only help you in your work and personal life. If you can sustain yourself with regular challenges and honest self appraisal, the benefits are enormous.

Fear induces us to put the brakes on; to stop thinking in a productive way. Fear of poverty, of losing face, of being proved wrong hold us back from taking part in active decision making. As our judgement becomes clouded with negative thinking, we become timid in the face of adversity. Opportunity becomes redefined as an impossible challenge and we end up standing still whilst the rest of the world passes us by.

Negative emotions are emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety, jealousy regret, sadness. These emotions are capable of not only having a powerful, unwanted effect on you physically, but also of having a significant impact the way you conduct your life. Negative emotions can engrain habits of limiting decision making.

One of the benefits of personal development is that it can encourage all the healthy parts of you to grow and the less savoury parts to whither on the vine. It can improve our general well being and make us more harmonious inside. All of our emotional processes, attitudes, values, our beliefs and motivations are interconnected.

If life was easy then we would have nothing to be motivated for. That is why by bringing in other challenges and goals – be it learning another language or taking up a new creative hobby – you can develop a highly disciplined mind that will assist you in many other areas of life. Maintaining confidence and motivation is the secret to long term success. However, long term success is achieved from short term goals! What this means is through setting smaller goals and then rewarding yourself for achieving them on a regular basis.

Thinking well is being well. There are only a minority of people who achieve success without having any belief in them self or in what they are doing. Be proud of the positive steps you have decided to take in asserting control over your life.Think well of yourself. Change negative self-talk to positive self-encouragement. Give yourself the same consideration you would give a cherished friend. Learn to become your own cheer leader instead of your own worst critic.

Once you have banished these negative thoughts, you should turn your attention towards coming up with an action plan. This plan will form the bedrock of your positive state of mind. You can take this even further by putting reward days into the planner to act as an extra bit of motivation. By breaking your routine down into a series of short term goals you will have more fun and experience a greater sense of accomplishment along the way. Of course this will only work if you are honest and open with yourself. Your journal should never lie otherwise you are only telling lies to yourself and defeating the object of your goal.

Your plan should be customised according to your own personal set of requirements and informed judgement. The effects of this are that you will be proving to yourself that you can take control of your own destiny. With a clear structure in place, you will never lose focus of the task in hand. This will help to avoid the feelings of helplessness and submissiveness that can happen to people who feel like they are not in control of a situation.

For more information on how to keep positive please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

The Mental Toughness Techniques Then Can Revolutionise Your Life

2009-10-12T13:14:00.000+01:00

Your mental health stems from how well equipped you are to deal with setbacks. Even the most hardened people have , at one time or another, suffered from a mental collapse. If you find it difficult to cope with the way the world is, you are not alone. People can develop stress and depression for many reasons.

Sadly, there is a lot of stigma surrounding issues around mental health. If someone breaks their leg, they are given help at every turn. However, feeling down is often seen by the individual as a sign of weakness. If you fall into this category, please take these feelings seriously.

What is it that gives us mental strength? One key factor is linked to your genetic make-up. Mental health is well documented to be partially attributable to hereditary factors. Another key factor is linked to life experience. If we are happy with our current lifestyle, we also feel more confident in who we are. If you want to build up your mental toughness, there are a number of things you can do.

A reality check is needed when things get on top of you. Are you taking too much on your plate. Try to keep a focus on your priorities. It can be tempting to try to take on more and more things to forget about feeling low. However, this is a self defeating strategy. Think carefully about the extra activities you take on. You could try a sport or hobby that builds up your emotional strength. You should talk to people who can help you when you encounter problems. It is important to try not to bottle up your emotions. Sometimes, all we need is a friend to chat too. However, if you develop low feelings that become overwhelming, you should speak to a doctor or seek specialist help.

Balance is a key watch word when it comes to mental strength. Balance means that you have a sense that all the important parts of your life are working together in harmony. Each individual has a different concept of balance. This is because we all lead individual lives with different needs. Your sense of balance may change at different stages of your life. When we are feeling off balance the slightest thing can tip us over the edge. Once we become overwhelmed we are unable to make clear decisions. The secret to balance is to remain in control of yourself and your goals. It is essential to keep moving forwards.

Your sense of balance will change along with your life priorities. As a young adult, you may find balance through your social life. When you get older, other things such as job security may become more important. Once you reach the middle of your life, you may have become financially secure and want to rediscover yourself again. Taking some time out regularly to consider where you are and where you come from is important. Think carefully about what is important to you in respect of balance and stability.

We make many assumptions about what we ‘need’ to be happy in life. Some of this comes in the form of social pressures from family and friends. Pressure can also be felt by the wider mass media. The truth is only you know what is best for you. Learn to trust your instincts more and listen to your inner voice. Think hard about whether there is too much going on in your life at the moment. Are your family suffering because you have taken too much on at work? Ask yourself what you would be doing in an ideal world? Then try to implement a strategy that allows you to get as close to it as possible.

Never underestimate the importance of balance in your life. Getting the balance right will improve your quality of life beyond your wildest dreams. Remember to seek help when it is necessary. However, remember not to lose sight of the responsibility you owe to yourself.

For more information on the subject please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

How To Destroy Self Defeating Beliefs One Step At A Time

2009-10-12T13:10:00.000+01:00

When was the last time you questioned who you are and what you stand for? The chances are it was quite a while ago. Most people take themselves for granted. Few of us think in enough depth about our beliefs. However, they are essential to our very being. Before embarking on a course of personal development, we need to confront our beliefs head on.

A belief is a feeling of conviction about something specifically related to you. Beliefs have a direct impact on our character and behaviour. We can divide beliefs in to two simple categories - Positive and negative.

A positive belief leads to positive actions like setting goals and targets.

Negative beliefs are associated with negative behaviours – like self paranoia.

Beliefs are activated by different personality traits. In the case of negative beliefs, the inner critic is a major contributor.

The negative little voice in our mind is also known as our inner critic. An inner critic is important in small doses. However, if the balance becomes upset, our inner critic can become a detrimental force. All the hard work you may have put into building yourself up can be wiped away in an instant by an unchecked inner critic.

The positive voice in our mind is known as the inner coach. This is the voice of confidence and encouragement. It is the voice of hope and the gateway to success. Your inner coach is the part of you that checks for solutions not problems. The inner coach provides you with inspiration and vitality. When it comes to building success, your inner coach is the voice to listen to.

You should decide which of the two voices are the loudest in your mind. Are you your own coach or your own worst enemy? Extraordinary people have that little bit extra. Extraordinary people have a finely tuned inner coach.

All you are doing by developing your inner coach is making your mind work for you. Think for a second about how incredible the human brain is. It is more powerful than all the worlds computers combined. The brain contains within it almost limitless potential. What a shame it is, therefore, to use it against us rather than for us! We all have the chance to be extraordinary, yet so many people sit in the doldrums because they are unable to harness the latent power of the mind.

The mind can waste a lot of energy on detrimental beliefs. Remember that a belief is not a fact! You should not think that what you believe about yourself today is necessarily true. People have had some crazy beliefs over the years. For instance, entire cultures have developed on the belief of the world being flat, or that gods live up in the sky. Unless you have taken the time to explore yourself, you run the risk of holding some unhelpful beliefs about yourself. But where do beliefs come from?

Some of our beliefs originate in our childhood. The opinions of our elders shape our self image in childhood. Therapists spend a lot of their time unravelling problematic self images of people that begin in childhood. It is amazing to think that our childhood never really leaves us. Instead, it becomes buried to the very core of our being. Life is a process of change and development. However, without being aware of the things that have made us who we are there is little chance of us controlling this change.

For more information on how to destroy self defeating beliefs then please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

How to Create Emotional Balance In Your Life

2009-10-12T13:08:00.000+01:00

Our personal characteristics play a major role in our overall happiness. Research has suggested that as much as 25% of what makes us happy in life derives from things such as flexibility, our outlook on life and resilience. Hardy people tend to bounce back from setbacks and remain positive. Some of our characteristics are inherited. However, there is a great deal you can do to install healthy characteristics within you. Personal development can help you to improve your emotional well being. You should get into the habit of questioning unhelpful and unhealthy thought patterns.

People manage their emotions in various ways. For example, some people bottle things whereas others tend to explode at the slightest provocation. Where do you think you fit on the emotional management spectrum? If you are sitting at either of the two extremes, you are allowing yourself to be managed by your emotions. It can be very hard to judge yourself objectively. Try to think of different scenarios and imagine your reaction to them.

We all have a personal emotional spectrum. It makes an every individual an interesting and unique characters. You should not think of emotional management as a form of brainwashing. However, what it does entail is managing responses that are negative or violent in nature. People who react violently to any provocation do so because they are lacking in emotional maturity. If you go off the rails at people for no reason, the chances are that you are only able to see the world in straight lines.

People who are excessively angry at minor provocation are lacking in perspective. Rather than seeing a problem as an irritant, they become enraged at any situation. This type of behaviour is unnecessary and destructive. An individual who acts in this way is unable to make specific observations about their feelings. They are often rash and impulsive towards other people. If you are somebody who suffers from severe anger issues, you should really consider getting professional help.

Not all emotional problems are quite as extreme as anger problems. However, there are lessons we can learn from anger management theory. Anger management tries to get the individual to see in degrees of emotion instead of extremes. An anger management expert will try to install an emotional spectrum in the individual. They encourage behaviours that are in proportion to the event. In many cases, someone with anger issues are often angry about themselves. They may, for example, be annoyed at their own personal shortcomings. This rage then manifests itself as an external projection on to other people. Treating anger often involves encouraging an individual to love who they are.

It is vital to able to meet a situation with an appropriate response. This is the main reason why being able to specify what your are feeling is so important. For instance, are you angry at that person because you are upset or because you are jealous about something to do with that individual? By identifying a problem, you can produce a more accurate response to it. The thing is, identifying an emotion can be tricky to those unaccustomed to it. For a bit of fun, try the following exercise.

Get a pen and paper. Write down as many positive emotions you can think of. Next to each emotion, write down a time you have felt it and what physical feeling it gave you. Now do the same thing with negative emotions on a separate piece of paper. You should include experiences such as muscle tension, nausea and butterflies in your stomach.

Now relive the positive emotional experience. To do this, focus on one of the memories that gave you a positive experience. As you do this, notice how the physical sensation returns. Notice how swiftly you can begin to affect real physical changes in your body.

The power of the mind should never be underestimated by any one. This little demonstration shows how easy it is for us to create physical sensations just with the power of thought. Of course, imagining an emotion is just half the solution; expressing them in a meaningful way is the next problem you need to work on. However, the fact that you are already taking steps in the right direction is a positive thing. You should now think about moving on to the next stage to fully manage your emotions.

For more information please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

The Secrets of Goal Setting and Personal Success

2009-10-12T13:06:00.000+01:00

What is personal success? Personal success occurs when we make the right decision at the right time. Most of us have an idea of the type of person we would like to be. However, few of us take the time to turn this into a reality. A lack of perspective is often the biggest reason for this. People tend to take their lives for granted. This is a shame when we think about the good we can do for our lives.

Having a goal is so important. It injects a sense of purpose and meaning into our lives. You may already have a broad idea of a goal you would like to achieve. If this is the case, then now is the point to turn it into something specific. For instance, if you are looking to lose weight think about how much weight you would like to lose and in what time. The brain works best when it receives clear instructions. If you were asked to do something vague by your boss at work you would ask them to clarify what they mean. A specific goal is a clear instruction.

A measure of self awareness is essential in critical decision making. If we do not feel in control of ourselves, then how can we expect to take control over our own destiny and circumstance? A extreme amount of self awareness can be detrimental. It can cause us to be too fearful of the consequence of tasking action. In addition, what we shall call ‘extreme self awareness’ can lead us to being overly judgemental of our experiences and actions. So how do we get the balance right? Well fortunately help is at hand.

Self awareness is the key to taking the correct initiative. We are confident and honest with ourselves. That way we will take action that is balanced between knowledge and a desire to get things done. Rash decision making should be replaced with calm rational and decisive action. The difference between success and failure can be made in a snap decision. By being self aware you are conscious of your own skills and your limitations. It is important to not confuse confidence with arrogance. If you are planning a new business venture make sure you have done as much research as possible. Make your goal a calculated risk.

Ignorance is the enemy of success. What is even worse than ignorance is self enforced ignorance. This is self induced ignorance brought about by a reluctance to challenge existing knowledge and look for alternatives. Being able to find an alternative solution to a problem is what creates innovation and competition. Without this key asset we wouldn’t have different companies or products. This is why you must maintain an open mind combined with self awareness to get your goal setting spot on.

There are unhelpful character traits that will inhibit a successful outcome to initiative taking. One of the first things you need to eliminate is procrastination. If you are the sort of person who says ‘it can wait till next week ‘frequently then this applies to you. The reason why this is so important is that your mind set directly effects your behaviour and daily habits. Even being lazy towards somewhat trivial things in a business can have a corrosive effect on your overall attitude.

Taking control of your life is the key to securing long term success. Regardless of whether we were born rich or poor we all have the ability to manage our lives in a way to ensures we reach our true potential . The refrain ‘It was due to circumstances beyond my control’ is a commonly used excuse among people. The problem with excuses such as these is that they are defeatist. Rather than getting us to look for solutions to our problems, they encourage us to accept our fate as if we were helpless. The most successful people are not only able to triumph over adversity but are able to draw strength from it. Personal development will help you to become like this sort of person.

For more information on the subject please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

Why the development of self –awareness is vital to obtain personal growth

2009-10-12T13:04:00.000+01:00

It is vital to our well being to have goals in life. Having a fixed goal like losing weight or quitting smoking is great. However, many people feel dissatisfaction when they fail to obtain their goals. Therefore, it is important to consider what is occurring in our mind. This can be achieved by standing back and looking at ourselves objectively.

We can strive to overcome dissatisfaction by adopting a holistic approach. This approach takes both our mind and our body into consideration. A person’s emotional processes, attitudes and values, beliefs and motivations are interconnected. Personal development can nurture the positive aspect of you to grow. In addition, it can discourage the less savoury aspects of our personality. It can therefore be used to improve our general well being.

Let’s look at a hypothetical situation. Imagine that you have decided to lose weight. Your goal is to lose two and a half a stone in six months. However, you are only able to loss two stone. You feel disconsolate. However, the process has made more driven and more motivated. You have higher levels of concentration and a more committed character. In short, you have become exactly the sort of person many others aspire to be despite not reaching your goal.

There are other benefits from undertaking the journey of personal development. Many people are dissatisfied because they have failed to reach to level of achievement they want to obtain. The feeling of dissatisfaction is the first stage of self awareness. It is self awareness that helps to form the cornerstone of personal development.

What do I mean by this? Well, if you learn to know yourself, you learn to understand yourself. Once you understand yourself, you can take action to correct any areas of dissatisfaction. It is like going on a voyage of self discovery. You return from the voyage as a wiser and more confident individual. The major benefit of self-awareness is that it reveals what you are capable of.

Few people truly understand the importance of self –awareness. Once you have developed it, you can plan the way you tackle goals more effectively. Self-awareness is about mastering growth and development. Developing a heightened sense of self-awareness through introspection and honest self- appraisal is one of the single most important things you can do in your life.

Conquering general dissatisfaction can seem difficult at times. However, setbacks are an important part of growth and development. Learning to deal with setbacks can only help to make you a stronger person. We all have good days and bad days. Make the following promise to yourself. No matter how dissatisfied you feel now life is only going to get better. Make a fresh start every day and you will be one step closer to achieving your goals.

For more information on developing self awareness, please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com/

Four essential tips to help you achieve your personal goals

2009-10-12T13:01:00.000+01:00

The world is a rapidly developing place. As the world moves, we must follow or risk taking a fall. You need to learn to survive in the modern world. Therefore, you need to be a modern vibrant person. Accepting change is the first step to being successful. So, what are the key steps you need to take in order to maximise your potential? What do you need to learn in order to achieve your goals?

Tip One – Develop a sense of self-awareness.

Analysis without awareness results in faulty judgements and defective reasoning. Do you remember the cartoons where a devil and an angel would appear on a characters shoulders whispering into alternate ears? Well our minds are not all that far from being wired like that. We are often driven by conscience and rash impulse in equal measure. A dollop of awareness puts you in the driving seat to make the right choices. Some people fail to make the right judgement calls and end up being caught in a state of eternal flux. Others end up making the very worst judgement calls and end up on life’s scrap heap. Awareness means being able to make the right call at the right time. Develop it with introspection, honesty and common sense. Listen to the advice of others but remember to always be your own master.

Tip Two – Try to define what personal success means to you.

What makes you unique and special as a person? What do you want to achieve in your life? You may want to get married and raise children, become a successful businessperson, travel the globe or get to the top of your chosen profession. By defining personal success, you will be able to create objective goals. Try to condense your definition of success in to aims, means and outcomes.

Tip Three – Learn to view each situation you encounter from an objective distance.

Heightened introspection allows you to think with greater clarity. It also allows you to consider all possible outcomes of a particular situation. Learning from experience is the best way to develop introspection. You gain the confidence to try different things. In addition you can approach new situation from different angles. How can you reach your desired outcome? Try to think about it like a challenge to be won. Combine introspection with self awareness. Outcomes are best achieved with a flexible and adaptive state of mind.

Tip Four – Learn to use your intuition in a positive way.

We all have gut feelings about events that occur in our everyday lives. The eureka moment we get every now and again is a heightened version of this. Some of our finest moments happen when we are not even thinking about it? There is no clear reason for this. It seems to be down to a relaxed state of mind. When the mind is not under pressure it has time to focus on creative and productive thought. Try not to over analyse a situation too much and you will benefit from greater clarity of thought in your decision making.

For more information on personal development and positive growth please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

Understanding And Controlling Anger – How To Manage Your Emotional Hot Buttons Today!

2009-10-12T12:58:00.000+01:00

Everybody can remember a time when they lost their emotional cool. Feeling anger is part of the human condition. However, we tend to associate anger as being a purely negative emotion. This is not strictly true. Anger comes in more than one form. It can either be directed in a healthy or an unhealthy manner. It is important to distinguish the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger.

When is anger ever healthy? Anger can actually be a great motivator. It can drive you towards achieving your goals. Anger can make people stand up for what they believe in. It can also make people stand up for people they care about. Anger was one of the key emotions that helped drive the civil rights movement forward.

How do people with unhealthy anger behave towards other people? People tend to insist that others do not insult or ridicule them. They also tend to place very rigid demands and rules regarding the behaviour of others. They have domineering or over powering personalities. A person with anger issues typically expects total conformity to their needs. However, they fail to understand their own behaviour can be unreasonable. Individuals who get angry all the time often direct their anger towards others. It can make forming relationships impossible. It can also cause breakdowns within interpersonal relationships.

Failure to control negative anger can lead to serious consequences. This form of anger is highlighted by rage and hate in response to the mildest provocation. Scheming, plotting, and taking revenge and manipulation can all be linked to negative anger. The emotion can overwhelm an individual to the point that it consumes them. Key warning signals include a raised heart beat and muscular tension in the shoulders and neck. Many violent offenders suffer from an inability to control their emotional responses.

How can an individual learn to control their anger? All emotions are underpinned by your personal attitudes and belief systems. Negative thinking patterns have to be destroyed. It is important to reshape negative attitudes and beliefs. It is vital to be able to accommodate the world around you. What type of person do you want to be? Happy successful and emotionally healthy individuals are typically tolerant and accepting of others. They understand the complexities of the world around them and shift and adapt accordingly. They understand that life can be tough and that things can go wrong. Try to view life in a way that is philosophical and reflective. Explaining your anger is the easy. Changing your emotional reactions requires self-discipline and will power.

For more information on how to destroy negative thinking patterns and to obtain a free video, please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

Three Essential Tips For Overcoming Low Self Esteem And Self Worth

2009-10-12T12:55:00.000+01:00

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is an emotive and complex topic to break down. In simple terms, the concept of self-esteem relates to how we perceive ourselves and our level of self worth. The way we view ourselves has a direct influence on our feelings, beliefs and emotions. As a result, our level of self-esteem has a substantial impact on the way we feel, think and interact with others. Furthermore, it has a real and direct effect on the choices we make.

What effects our level of self-esteem?

Over the course of our lives, our level of self-esteem fluctuates. The way you assess your self worth is not solely the result of how you perceive yourself. Everybody is influenced by the world around them. It is natural to want to be valued by the people we interact with. We are constantly being judged on everything from our personal appearance to the way we act. Therefore, your level of self-esteem will be effected by your relationships with others. Everybody is guilty of having compared themselves to members of their family, peer group, work colleagues or even famous individuals. Yet it is vitally important to consider that every individual is unique. We are all special and have different talents and abilities that help to make us the way we are.

What can you do to build your self-esteem?

Self esteem and confidence should not come from the way others perceive you. Self esteem and confidence must come from inside yourself. It is hard to change the way you think and feel about yourself overnight. However, by taking small steps everyday, you will gradually increase your level of self esteem and confidence. Here are three key tips to help you get the ball rolling to a new, more confident you.

Tip One – Learn to destroy self defeating beliefs. You may believe that you are not as important as other people. If you truly believe this, you will start acting in ways that will make others believe the same. However, this belief pattern is not only destructive, it is simply not the case. You can learn how to break down self defeating beliefs by learning to speak to yourself in a positive way.

Start to tell yourself that you are a special person with rights, ideas and opinions that are just as valid as the next person. Try this little exercise. I want you to grab some paper and a pen. Over the next few days and weeks, write a list of fifty things that you like about yourself. What is your best feature? What is your favourite character trait? What are you good at? Keep the list safe where you can see it. Whenever you feel low, just read the list. It will help you to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Tip Two – Look after your physical and mental well-being. The first step is simple but effective. Aim to set aside time every day to eat three regular and healthy meals. This will help to maintain your level of energy and concentration throughout the day. Next, make sure you get enough sleep each night. Try to do something relaxing before you go to bed. This will help the stress of the day melt away. Set aside thirty minutes a day to exercise. This will help you to stay fit and toned. This in turn will help to give you more confidence about the way you look. Remember, walk tall and smile. If you smile, the world will learn to smile right back at you!

Tip Three – Do something fun! I want you to make a list of everything that interests you. What are your hobbies and interests? What are you passionate about? What new activities would you like to try but have never done before? Is there something that you would like to learn more about? If you need help thinking of ideas, you can check out the library or just ask other people. Now, I want you to set aside just a few hours a week to do something for you. This will help you to meet new people and life will feel more satisfying and fun.

For more information on how to overcome low self esteem and to obtain a free video please visit www.discover-self-confidence.com

The Key Relationships You Need To Promote And Develop Self Esteem

2009-10-12T12:45:00.000+01:00

Self esteem is a key component of our basic human needs. The way we perceive ourselves has a profound effect on how we choose to live our lives. Your level of self esteem has a great effect on your thoughts, feelings and emotions. The development of our self-esteem is moulded by our experiences with other people. Our level of self esteem tends to constantly fluctuate.

What steps can you take to promote and develop your self esteem?

The first step is to learn to engage in strong and rewarding relationships. In this article, I will aim to break down the two key relationships that you must learn to develop in order to promote a high level of self worth.

Key relationship one - your relationship with yourself.

Nobody likes other people talking about them in a negative way. Why then, would you choose to say nasty things about yourself?

It is vital to start thinking about the way you talk both to yourself and about yourself. Start to believe and talk to yourself in a positive way.

High self esteem can never be given to you by other people. You need to have the desire to improve your self esteem for yourself.

Learn to take credit for your achievements. Do not simply brush them off as chance or luck.

Try this simple exercise. It will only take a couple of minutes a day. I want you to stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. I want you to tell yourself that you are a beautiful and unique individual. You have thoughts and opinions that are just as valid as the next person. Do this every morning without fail. After just thirty days it will become a healthy and worthwhile habit!

Key relationship two – your relationships with others.

It is vital for our well being to learn to nurture rewarding friendships.

Everybody likes to make friends and feel valued. You can cultivate new friends at any age.

Try to join in a conversation with other people. You are an important member of any team. You have more of an effect on others than you realise. Do not be afraid to start the conversation.

Remember to smile :-) If you are friendly and chatty, people are more likely to gravitate towards you.

Try to be open, friendly and kind towards other people. However, do not be afraid to say no.

People with low levels of self-esteem are more likely to get talked into something that they do not really want to do.
Learn to take a compliment. Smile and say thank you. Start to pay compliments to other people.

Words cost nothing. However, they have the power to make or break your day.

Avoid situations or people that make you feel badly about yourself.

In order to change, we must first learn to take responsibility for our actions. It will take time to learn how to develop a higher level of self-esteem. Change is not easy but it is possible. By learning to communicate effectively with yourself, it will become easier to develop your self esteem. This will have the knock on effect of helping to improve the way you communicate with others.

For more information on how to promote and develop your self esteem, visit www.discover-self-confidence.com